The Moment I knew my Core Value
- Ria Kitsch
- May 16
- 2 min read
If goals set your sail, your values are the sturdy ship under your feet.
I have a memory from my elementary school yard. I must have been 9 or 10. As I looked out at the field I saw some kids playing soccer, a group of girls under a tree playing pretend, a little crew walking and whispering to each other and I remember thinking: Where do I fit in?
Which swiftly turned to: How do I fit in.
I remember closing my eyes, settling my mind, and the thought came to me: What do I want to be known for? When people say my name, what is the one quality I want to come to their lips when they describe me?
Some fleeting ideas floated through my mind: fun, pretty, clever.. But they weren't quite right. And then it came to me: Kind. Above all, I desired for my kindness to be evident in my actions and interactions, and through that gateway of integrity, there would always be a place for me.
As I've grown older, I understand that in that moment, I identified not a want, but a core value. In times of decision making it has never steered me wrong. But my understanding of Kind has evolved with age.
In fact, I'm really glad I didn't settle on the word nice. Because nice is fine, but kind is deeper.
As an adult, I've learned that kindness can mean candor. That truly caring about others can sometimes mean saying or explaining things that don't feel "nice" in the moment, but are deeply meaningful. And the same goes for myself - I work to be kind to myself, which is sometimes easier said than done, and doesn't always feel "nice".
In my early 20's I learned my strongest tool to discern how to be kind when a yoga instructor prompted my to "observe without judgement." This philosophy is fundamental to being honest and somehow also invokes empathy.
I feel lucky that my brain had that thought on the school yard, and that I built my sturdy ship with intention since then. And I love hearing those turning point stories from others! Please share in the comments if you had a moment in your life that cemented your core value.
This is a really beautiful little insight. I feel the exact same way. You can be strong, brave, nice, fun but to feel a real true connection with another being, you need to have some kind of empathy which for me also always has been kindness. I feel like the resilience I built when in multiple instances of my life, people I tried to protect from bullies always ended up bullying me and I guess the fact that I was able to stay kind within a world where there is so many unkind actions, I'm just really proud of. I'm really curious what more your yoga teacher has taught you! Also wanted to mention I really like your blogs! They…